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The Do’s and the Do-Not-Do’s of time travel for profit.


Who woulda thought time travel was so difficult?



WARNING!: This infos exclusively for the use of applicandid8s to the International Chrononautics Academy (I.C.A.)® Class of the year 2118 (twenty-one 8een). Anydude applying to the academy must read & confirm this info before proceeding. Non-applicandid8s wanting to find more info about the application process, plz see ΔθICAappcaninfo/ΩuΩ/ΞπmhjoakolchprzΣ/Σ2117+1 for more info.



Image result for the year 2118
Thats us now lol


So you want to travel thru time. Thats awesome! Your now applying to Chrononaut (chrono: time, naut: voyager) School. A chrononauts lifes demanding to the max & requires like total dedication. But the fact that your applying shows that your a adventurous indiv & we like that.

Everydude hoping to earn the chrononauts logo must pass a one (1)-year basic course before starting advanced training & being assigned to their first (1st) time travel mission. Every candid8 must pass each of:



CHRONONAUTICAL THEORY (basic understanding of Jani-Khartunian equations & Menshchikova Conjecture)






other subjects as required as case-by-case.

The whole aim of the course is to like make sure of three (3) things:

(a): you get back from your time travel missions safe & sound &

(2) (two): the info you bring backs marketable so it wasnt all a waste of everydudes time lol &

(c): you do nothing that could like change the course of history & so change the future.

Thats our future your changing lol!

I.C.A.® is internationally funded & the info & images you bring back to our century we sell to universities & institutions & the telenetworks thru our parent-org International Chrononautics Research Initiative (I.C.R.I.)® based in Trondheim since 2090 (twenty ninety) plus Punta Arenas since 2093 (twenty ninety-three) plus Prince Rupert since 2099 (twenty ninety-nine).

What you bring back from your time travel missions pays the bills & keeps our shareholders happy ♥. & it pays your salary lol.

Before we describe the training, plz remember that any talk you maybe heard that time travel into the future is now possible is dead wrong. FACT. Despite of all efforts, nodude has found any loopholes in the Jani-Khartunian equations. So its impossible to travel into the future, only the past. FACT.

Now, all about your training:

Itll take like two (2) years. The first (1st) years to qualify as a chrononaut. After that everydude must take another year to like train for their assigned mission. Why so long? Everything must be prepared right for your survival & safe return to the here & now, which for you will be the here & future, like 2119 (twenty-one nineteen) @ least lol.

Your mission can take a few days & or a few weeks. I.C.R.I.® decides all the variables depending on the danger level of each mission as case by case. Deep penetration time travels always shorter because of the higher danger. @ the moment deep-pen missions go back more than 7,000 (seven thousand) years, but this figures now like under review.

Now, your training breaks down like this:

PHYS TRAINING: Youll get all about how to withstand primitive conditions & the time travels hardships. Your pushing your body thru the time barrier & the Jani-Khartunian waves arent good for you, so theres lots of phys stress. Your training will like minimize the health probs of time travel.



Image result for time machine pictures
These waves arent cool


Note: Youll require inoculations against diseases common in the primitive times like small pox & hep. This is for your safety & the safety of everydude in the here & now & in the future to come. No exceptions. Sorry, but no confirmation from you = no place in the academy. FACT.

You must also delete any & all tats, m-plants, toos, sex-plants, com-plants & any & all bodymods which people in the past didnt have. Thisll prevent you looking like some dude from their future which we definitely dont want lol.  No exceptions. No confirmation from you about this rule = no place for you in the academy. FACT.

You must also confirm youll strictly avoid all 22nd (twenty-second)-century food, drinks, halants & anything whichll alter &/or affect how you smell. Dudes in the past didnt eat what we eat & drink what we drink & they didnt have halants so if your going to blend in youll have to like take about one (1) year to clean up. This is specially important if you encounter dogs in your missions. No exceptions. No confirmation from you = your like out of the program. FACT.

If you are male youll have to confirm to have a temporary reproductive sterilization procedure (Terestepro) before each & every mission. Its like totally reversible so dont worry lol. But we dont want you to leave any little 9 (nine)-month time bombs back in the past lol. No exceptions. Failure to confirm means exclusion from the mission & possible exclusion from the Chrononaut Corps®. FACT.

FIRST AID: We take every precaution & make every effort to like make your arrival in the past & your return to our century as safe as poss. But nodude can anticip8 every single variable. Theres always a little possibility you might like materialize a couple of meters up in the air & fall to the ground. Or maybe even under water. One (1) member of a mission to the 17th (seventeenth) century materialized @ the bottom of a well. A well is like a deep & narrow pit for storing water. She got out OK but was injured bad & I.C.R.I.® pressed ABORT.


Image result for old well
Well well lol


Note: 22nd (twenty-second)-century med equipment & pharmas & so on cant be used in time travel missions, right?. This is why youll get all about first (1st) aid the old fashioned way lol. Its hard but youll get it anyway so dont worry lol.

Note: When you return from a mission you must pass thru like a quarantine period post-debriefing & before your release. This is for easy-to-understand reasons. The quarantine period depends on many many factors as case by case.

CHRONONAUTICAL THEORY: Youve all read time travel fiction from the old old days like Thus We Frustr8 Charlemagne & also Making History & of course that classic from 2090 (twenty ninety) Our Past Lies Before Us & so on. In this course youll get why this is so important to the max. Its important for the present as well as the past, isnt it?

The Jani-Khartunian equations are the basis of time travel. But you dont have to master them, only get a basic grip so dont worry lol. But its important that you understand the possible paradoxes & snakelines involving time travel. Your life & the f8 of our century depend on this. FACT!

Just fyi, there was a mission back to the early 21st (twenty-first) century to what was then called the United St8s of America. One (1) mission member was about like one (1) cm away from by accident preventing the assassination of President Gore. It was only just nothing but dumb luck that stopped her by accident preventing that assassination & changing history like forever. Since that mission all the controls are now more strict. FACT!



Image result for IMAGES OF AL GORE CA 200
They ALMOST prevented his assassination! 


This has to be one (1) of the important to the max parts of your training. You must never forget that even a action thats really trivial can somehow have like a big effect & change the future without anydude realizing it. Imagine if President Gore didnt get assassin8d. Then history wouldve changed to the max & we wouldnt even realize it!

Note: The Menshchikova Conjecture! Its still a important subject in your training even if not every scientist is on board with it. Remember, the first (1st) candid8 or chrononaut to prove Menshchikova rightll win 100,000,000 (one hundred million) New Kronor from I.C.R.I.® & get lifelong membership & a academy vice professorship.

ESCAPE PROCEDURES: If a mission goes wrong like real wrong & it could like affect history & change the future or if a mission member is like in great danger then the mission must ABORT & thats that. Your trainingll prepare you for this as much as poss. Dont forget this!

Note: Plz keep in mind that youll have to confirm a injury &/or death waiver before every mission. Forget about accident or death insurance as far as time travel. No insurer @ all wants to touch it. FACT! Thats one (1) of the reasons why chrononauts are heroes.

INFO GATHERING & STORAGE:Whats the point of a mission if you like come back to our time & you have zero (0) to show us & no info for I.C.R.I.® to put on the open market? A picture (2D or 3D) or even a nanopic is worth a thousand (1,000) words, they say. In your training youll get all about the best ways to observe, record & store info. It must be safe @ all times! Dont let it fall into like the wrong hands! That would be a disaster. FACT.

Note: Anydude bringing back any items which can be marketable antiques in our century will def be arrested & do hard time in a max correcto facil. FACT. So dont try & mess with market forces. Dont even think about this!

LANGUAGE(S): Way way back they spoke funny & some didnt even speak English as good as us or even @ all. So if your going to like blend in youll have to get their language(s). The Dextratek ΘB® is your friend to the max as far as language learning. Youll get the basics & then make it all better to the max with Holoprax® & so on. So dont worry.

Note: Many deep penetration missions may need no language training @ all. This is because we dont even know their languages lol. So no worries there. They wont understand you & you wont understand them but its all good.

ANTHROPODYNAMICS: Way way back there werent like 19,000,000,000 (nineteen billion) people alive. & there were no big Hot Zones & Nuke Zones here & there like now. So when you go way way back youll see they had unbelievable to the max personal space & youll also see some societies were like only 40 (forty) or 50 (fifty) indivs. Thats right: only 40 (forty) or fifty (50). Hard to believe isnt it lol?

So these are like quick-in-quick-out missions because you cant hide in a crowd when theres no crowd lol. Youll have to quickly understand each societys three (3) main elements, like:

(a) Whos in charge? &

(2) Whats everydudes sexual orientation? &

(C) Whats their economy? Thats right: even tiny little tribes had a economy. Youll get all about this l8er in the training training so dont worry.

SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES: Survival techniques will help you get all you need to know about survival when your way way back & the foods strange & every drinks a weird one (1) & the primitives all look @ you funny & you have important jobs to do but theres not much time & dangers all around because these dudes totally dont trust strangers like you. What kind of danger?  The prims were violent & emotional. Not like us lol. But its important to the max that as a chrononaut you keep your focus on the mission & use all the training the academy gives you. So pay attention. The life you save will be yours!

Also you must get all about how to function in the past like you totally know what your doing just like you were born there lol. That means for example you may have to get how to like ride a horse like youve seen them do in all those old 2DVs from like 100 (one hundred) or 150 (one hundred fifty) years ago. (Note: Training for this will be in the Patagonian Republic and/or the Trans-Asia Republic, as case by case.)

Or you may have to get how to use cash (money made of like metal or plastic or paper) & so on & so on. One (1) other thing: avoiding trouble is important to the max. Like you have to know who you can m8 & who you cant m8. This is all like part of what you have to get so when your on a mission you can blend in & avoid trouble that might be bad for your health lol.

REMEMBER: Leave nothing behind except footprints & bring nothing back except what the academic marketplace & the telenetworks want to buy.







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